he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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