when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
