I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
