we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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