Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
