there's paper in my vomit.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
