belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
