I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
