Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
