let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
