Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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