i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
