So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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