Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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