My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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