I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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