fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
