He kissed a someone with a penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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