Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
