Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
