I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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