I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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