do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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