He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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