Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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