the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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