that's an acceptable place to lick
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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