The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if i died would you start the facebook group?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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