Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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