She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
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she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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