You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
