I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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