yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
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He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
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YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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