did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
