I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
