doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
People in love make me want to vomit
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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