Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
