Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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