she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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