Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
