I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
