love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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