you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
