the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
