The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
