trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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