No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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