i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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