I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
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Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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