after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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