Kiss
Puke
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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