i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
