Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
