I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
