It's Friday. Sex?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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