Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
