Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
