oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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