Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
