what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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