I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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