Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
