Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
