And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
