she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize