Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
